i guess i don’t really know how to feel because i obviously still love you, like 1 year of love doesn’t just go away but i also know i have to move on like i have a feeling you moved on and i am happy for you but also there is this bitterness that i can’t kiss you or hold you, not that you would want me to hold you anymore but i guess i still want to be held by you. i know someone else is bringing you the joy i brought to you at some point. i feel like i hurt you quite a bit but i also got hurt and i want to say fuck you to you but what would that do? nothing. absolutely nothing. because i am not mad or angry at you rather i am upset at everything that happened. you did nothing wrong. young love is hard and i know you probably are not my forever but i did hope that when we started dating that you would be my forever. it’s funny how i am still thinking about you and writing to you. it’s funny how i still think about i just wanted a letter. how hard was it for you to send a letter. how hard was it for you to write me a letter before you left. well i guess it was hard because i never got one. so now i wonder if you actually ever cared.

i don’t think anyone will ever hurt me like you did. but we hurt each other, and i know that. i felt that pain everyday, we are different people now, it’s a different time. i believe we are better people. we deserve happiness and i hope that’s what we have. part of me with always love you in someway. you were my first love. you were my first heartbreak. thank you for teaching me what love is not. thank you for teaching me heartbreak.