I was going to tell you how much I cared about you and thank you for all the nice things that you did and how special me you made everything. I wanted to tell you how loved I felt and I wanted to tell you about the good times. But on the flip side you kind of act like a dick and even though we had a really good times you lied to me and you broke my heart and you have fucked up how I see people. I have no idea how to move on from you. Because you made me feel so safe even though you completely destroyed every single ounce of trust I had in you and I don’t know how to function. But I cared a hell of a lot and now you’re fine, but I have to work out how to be a person and I am so lost. I completely did and still do adore you and you just run away and I hate it so much because I don’t feel good enough anymore, for anything or anyone and I have no idea how to stop feeling like that. I’m so stuck feeling insignificant and I know it’s because of how things were with us and I am full of so much resentment and I’ve never been like that before. And that’s not because of life, or you changing as a person, that’s because of the decisions you chose to make and the lies you chose to tell and I really hope you know how crushed I have been and I am. I don’t believe you when you say nice things to me so of course I don’t believe you when you tell me that you’re sorry and there’s nothing there either of us can do about that because I cry all the time about how much I miss you and all the nice things we did and I’m stuck in this horrible situation because I don’t believe you and I can’t spend time with you but I also don’t know how to do things without you. But I know it was never like that for you and you’re just chilling and having the time of your fucking life.
I’m stuck between being completely head over heels for day one george, and so hurt by his counterpart from the present day.
PS it’s never been Her business when I’ve tried to kill myself, how dare you tell her. I never put it on you, I never begged you to help me deal with my problems. You chose to give out my personal information, to somebody that there was already so many complications with and you knew I’d never be comfortable with, and I’ll never forgive you for that. I have never told anybody about the personal things you have said to me, and don’t ever say that you needed help to help me, because I know that’s bullshit, you don’t know how to function when you wanna sleep with people because you think with your dick.
I promise you I care, even if it doesn’t seem like it, but this year has fucked me up in ways that I could never have imagined, and some of that is your fault, whether you meant for it to be or not.
I will always love all of your friends, and your family, and they are so special and so dear to me, and I only have you to thank for that.
But don’t apologise for not being the right guy, apologise for hurting people, when you didn’t have to.
I had your back man, and would’ve for as long as I could. I really tried my best to care for you and support you, but it feels like nothing now.
I’ve loved you since the moment you picked me up and almost killed me with your horrible driving.
I’m certain I always will.

Yours faithfully, completely heartbroken and so torn in all of her decisions

you act like you like me, yet you're with her. i don't want to be played with but something keeps me from moving on.

I hope you have a good birthday. It pains me that I can't at least tell you this directly.