just wanna like. fall in love, thought i did with j but i didnt. i want to, like, you know. feel the pain of love, its better than feeling nothing. i want to experience the chase, how you'd get really close for a few seconds and get shy and bring your head back a little, feeling your ears go tomato red. or when everyone in the class ships you two and youre like "no way i dont like him!". i think i like someone, its kind of a bad crush though. i literally only know how he looks like and his name. but i cant love him, i shouldnt. firstly, he likes someone else, secondly, im not good enough for him, then i dont know him at all and lastly because i know who im meant to love. i know my soulmate, i know what he looks like, i just need to find out who he exactly is. gosh i have no clue what im saying right now. but i just want to fall in love in real life ya know? like- physically fall in love and not make scenarios,,,