I'm writing this to myself, but I don't even know where to start. What color do I remind myself of? What color can show how much it hurts that I love so hard? I just want somebody to tell me I'm okay, so maybe if someone could tell me I'm okay, everything would be better. I've been trying to figure out if I really hate my name or if I just hate myself. Why wouldn't I hate myself? I'm wrapped up in a fabricated love story that my elementary school brain created to shield me. I needed to escape, so I loved her like everything was going to end. But the world picked itself back up, and here I am. I don't know what I'm doing because I'm from Manhattan and all of a sudden I go to a school with 300 kids. There's one street in my town, and I have three friends, which is more than I had in years. I'm floundering. I tried not to be like my mom, but I ran away from Manhattan and now I'm floundering. Every year takes me farther away, and I just want to go back. I just want to go back to 2015, because I was miserable, but I was home and I didn't know that my love story was a lie. I've gotten so used to the feeling of tears welling up and spilling out that it feels more like home than this town ever did.

i hate how safe you make me feel, no ones ever done this to me before. I really do love you more than you know.

You are worth more than rubies. The most beautiful I’ve seen.

You shouldn’t talk to me

I wanna marry you some day, instead, i'll just stick around till you hate me again.

All roads lead to you, even those I took to forget you.

Because the ball is not in my court, you first

Tell me something.

Today I miss u so much that I can’t stop crying. It makes me feel weak that I’m still not over u yet

Isn't it rotten? There isn't any use my telling you I miss you.

The wolf turns white and shakes out of love for the lamb. As love blackens the lamb.

It’s 12 am, I cannot sleep. But when I do I will be thinking of you.

i hope you're okay. i miss you a lot my love

I'll be here when you wake up, my dove <3

I hope the love I gave you this past year Carries with you for the rest of your life

You are my everything. I never want to lose your presence in my life

Do you ever think of me?

I get so lonely for you, I feel sick.

I’ve realized you don’t care to see me.

I miss you my little dove, but atleast you have wings now

Did you forget everything I'll always remember?

I lost you number, I wish we could be friends again.

Even in the waiting.

im so happy for you Dove

I’m madly in love with you

I stopped writing, I know you'll do just fine, I'll miss you in a special way

i hope youre doing well and happy.

i think of u often even after almost 3 years.im sorry that i never gave you the apology you deserved

I've been looking at the stars a lot more, they always remind me of nights leaving your house

If there’s a chance and you actually write on here . Snap me lil dove.