it hurts a lot right now. it’s so weird because two weeks ago if I were watching this show I would’ve texted you already telling you not to die. that you can’t die. that I would be so mad at you if you died. I would tell you like I have so many times before that you would have to die at the exact same time as me so I don’t have to live without you and you don’t have to live without me. here we are two weeks later and we are having to live without each other. I’m having to live without you. I just keep thinking about how badly I want to text you and tell you I miss you and tell you about the character that just died on this stupid show and how it made me feel and how I cried so much. you would’ve already made some sort of joke that made me crack a smile and you would’ve made me feel better because you always told jokes and I hated it but it always made me smile when I was having a hard time. I miss you so much. I miss talking to you so much. I miss the jokes that I hated. I know it wasn’t perfect, especially not at the end. but holy shit I miss being even just in the same room as you. it hurts so bad today.

I miss you and our green couch conversations