Unsent messages to ASIFA RIZWANA ABDUL KAREEM

You were my home… and now I have nowhere to go.

I don’t know who else I can run to. Who else I can cry to. I need your shoulder to cry on. I need you. Every single day since you left, I’ve been breaking. Not a day has passed without tears, without pain, without the deep ache of missing you.

Yes, I made mistakes. I was overwhelmed, scared, and broken inside when everything happened. I didn’t know how to handle the situation. But I never stopped loving you. I never stopped believing in what we had. And I would give anything to go back and protect that love better.

I’m sorry for the hurt I’ve caused. Truly, deeply sorry. I’m fixing myself. I’m growing. I’m learning. I’m becoming someone who deserves you because I want to be that person for you.

Please don’t put a full stop to our story. We had so many beautiful moments, so much love between us. Can’t we try one more time? I just want one chance to see you, to talk to you, to remind you of everything we had and everything we still could have.

Please. Let me come home to you again.

I love you more than you know. I don’t have any clear idea how I’m going to fix all my mistakes, but I promise I’ll keep trying every day. I’ll keep putting in the effort. I’ll wait and no matter how long it takes for a second chance. And I promise, I won’t disturb you in any way. I’ll respect your space. Just know… my heart still beats for you.

Everyone makes mistakes, but my love for you has never been one of them.

From the very first day, I never wanted to miss you. You are an angel sent from heaven, and you colored my life in ways I never thought possible. I’m forever grateful for the days I spent holding your hands, for the laughter, the tears, the chaos, and the calm. Through it all, you were my home.

I’ve learned so much from you. From small things like making a bed or soft chapathi, to bigger things like staying strong in difficult times, and most of all, how to love someone deeply. You taught me that love is a choice, and loving you was the best choice of my life.

My life got struck after you left. But I’ll forever be grateful for the days I spent with you, I’ll cherish them my whole life. I wish only the best for you. I wish you health, peace, happiness, and all the love you truly deserve. The one person I’ll miss forever in my life will always be you. You are such a gem, and I regret losing you. You are worth every bit of the suffering I go through.

You were there when I cried, when I laughed, when I was nervous, and when I was in love. You became my safe place, my peace, my poetry, the reason I still believe in love.

I still carry the moments we shared everywhere: Coventry, Bath, London, Wales, Netherlands, Portugal… each place holds a special memory of us. A year ago, 3rd September was a beautiful day for two people, a surprise cake, a poem, balloons, lights, Japanese food, laughter, and love. This year, it’s just me… with memories that still feel alive.

Sometimes I think of someone else holding your hands, making you laugh, and my heart aches. Because for me, you aren’t just a person, you are the person. My favourite notification. My “oru deivam thantha poove.”My seven minutes.

I know you’re sick and going through a lot. If I could take even half your pain, I would do it without a second thought.

As long as you were there, I was happy. They say time heals. But months have passed, and all I’ve become is better at pretending. I still search for you whenever something good happens. I still miss you in a room full of people. I still whisper to myself: Unna enaku romba romba pudikkum.

Love you always

It’s been eight long months since we last spoke. Life has changed so much since then, yet a part of me still stands where you left. You seem happy now and that’s all I ever prayed for. I asked God every day to bring back that smile on your face, and seeing it again, even from afar, gives me peace. I wish you all the happiness, health and love this world can offer. You truly deserve peace and love.

You will always be my incomplete wish, my home, my seven minutes, my love, my happiness, my peace and everything in between. I’m stumbling through each day, struggling even to live a normal life.My life hasn’t moved forward since you left. I think about you now more than I did when we were together. I still talk to the imaginary version of you whenever I need someone to listen because even in silence, you are the one I reach for.

You’ve blocked me everywhere, and I respect that. Yet, I often find myself scrolling through our old texts, smiling through tears at how special you made me feel, how much importance, love, and warmth you gave me. I’ll forever be grateful for that. Those moments, those words, those laughs, they’re all still alive in me.

You are such a beautiful soul, a gift from Allah I’ll never stop being grateful for. No matter how much distance or silence lies between us, the truth remains, I loved you with everything I had, and I always will.