thank you for coming into my life. i don’t know where i would be without you and you saved me when i was at my darkest hour. your so different and i’m praying you don’t leave, you really are the love of my life. i’ll love you forever?

there is so much i want to say, and yet i know you'd probably ignore every word of it all over again.

school with you was great, even though i always felt uncomfortable because i knew you didn’t want me around, and even today when we meet up i feel like you are only ever comfortable just the two of us, and when it is just the two of us it feels great, and you’re so lovely, but i always want more and that’s my greatest downfall, ruining things when they’re ok because i want more. it’s funny because as a girl you don’t think me snd you would do the things we do, i’m the one to carry you when you hurt your foot, i’m the one who’s taller than you most of the time, but i wouldn’t have it any other way, thankyou for the happiest years of my life and letting your family build relationships with you, thankyou for playing games with me when i’m on my own,
thankyou for inviting me on bike rides with you and your brother and archie, thankyou for all the birthday parties and the holidays. thankyou for the pink arsenal scarf, thankyou for smoking paper out my kitchen window, thankyou for everything.

Hi, i need you to know that i really like you, it kills me everyday that you just walk past and completely ignore me

i crave for your touch, i don’t want to be held if it isn’t you. all i want is your arms around me while we watch a movie :/

thank you for proving to me that no matter how much you love and cherish someone, they can always hurt you in ways you'd never think of.

I am so in love with u, I wish u could see u but you are too in love with her. I need u to be more that a friend..be my boyfriend again ?

Its taken a while, but I've learnt to forgive. Its taken some time, but I've finally moved on. I hope you do too and I wish you the best for the future

I really do care for u but your always constantly shutting people out of your life especially when u need that support and it hurts me seeing you do that to your self and no matter what 'u knew best' so im really sorry that I moved on even though I still wished u were apart of my life as u never ever did anything wrong and I just wished that u listened to me idk maybe im just struggling and I know u could help but I guess this is goodbye ( also I still listen to IM and m+ms )

i will always love you. you were the first i truly cared for. i wish we could try again, i truly believe we are the right-person-wrong-time bs people say. i love you so much. i love your family, i love your little quirks. i love you even if your friends annoying the living hell out of me. id put up with it all if we could be together again. i don’t want to run out of time or regret not going for it again but i’m too scared to. i love you and i always will. it’s been 2 years and i still love you. i love you

im over you. it took long enough but i am. you still pass through my mind a lot but i am grateful for what we had and i am willing to forgive you for the nasty things you did. ill always love you. but its time this chapter ends. you made me lose myself but i finally found myself again and im doing a lot better, i don't think that could've happened without you so thanks i guess? i know you've really changed and i wish you the best for the future

Alfie, I know that we’re best friends, and yet i feel myself so drawn to you, i want us to have the happy ending i know you want Jeff and Britta to have. You make me feel more secure than anyone else ever has. No matter whether it it’s platonic or romantic i know i love you, with all of my heart. I worry you’ll be my right person wrong time, I worry that you’ll leave me if i said how I feel, but most of all i worry that no matter what happens in the end you won’t be there. You are the love of my life in some aspect, i don’t know which aspect but i know i want you in my life for a long time. Without you, i wouldn’t be here. I wouldnt. Simple. You saved my life and i never even told you. I love you. I really really do.

I’m awkward around you because I like you lol but i know you don’t feel the same :/ big L for me I guess

You were my everything, we shared the same interests, music taste and we’re interested in the same fashion style. I believed you were perfect, I would stay up late just to wait for your 15-30 minute replies.. Sometimes you wouldn’t reply, you understood this upset me and made me feel like you were abandoning me - yet you continued. Continued to the point I almost commit s——— because I thought you weren’t coming back. Sometimes I get sudden waves of sadness, questions racing around my head such as ‘Will I ever find someone as good as you, Alfie?’ ‘Maybe I should send him a text,’ - the main thought that I have when this happens is ‘I wish Alfie stayed,’

I miss you, please come back

i’ve already sent this so i’m sorry!! but i couldn’t find it made angry so ill write it all aGaiN i’m v much in love with you and i’ve never felt this way for anyone,, u complete me honestly that’s cheesy but it’s true. the way you pull me in to the way you stare at me and do a lil smile ur so perfect man i miss you SO much it’s unfair i can’t see you rn :( i promise for my birthday we be together

I was the best thing that ever happened to you and you know it. I hope being lonely and alone now causes you as much pain as you caused me.

i wish you never left. i would honestly drop everyone for you. but you took advantage of that. fuck you

hi alf, I miss you and still love you but I hate you for what you did. I hope you find happiness with her.

I owe you my life, I owe you my heart, you are the reason I am still alive. You, Alfie, are the love of my life. But yet, I don't think I'll ever tell you.

alfie,
i rlly fell in love with u and i dont think you realised how much i wanted you to be mine you where my first proper love and i miss the old you so much i wish we could of just spoke a little longer and i wish you never changed and that when we last hugged eachother i just held on for a little longer because i didnt realise it would be the last time i hugged you but i just want to ask you one question why did you text me first and why did you make me fall for you when this is how it has ended yeah i hope your happy because you have broke my heart because i thought we was going to be something but i guess all good things come to a end i love you lots and i know its time to let go and i dont want to but i will try

i miss you.

This is what I'd say to you if I ever got the guts to do so:

I have known you since July, but the reality is I feel as if I have known you since the moment I entered the earth. You are so daft, but in the most wonderful way possible, you've never been cynical towards me, never shown any judgement towards me, even if I smoke like a chimney, even if I do just complain all the time (well, I feel like I do anyways), you don't seem to care. You were there for me when I got fucked over, and you reassured me that I'd find someone, but never at that point did I think that someone could potentially be you. You may not realise it but your presence over the last couple of months saved my life, you introducing me to new passions saved my life, which might sound strange but seriously I needed something new to keep my mind occupied. As people go, you are one of the closest people to me, and definitely the only person I talk to everyday, whether it be about our immaculate music taste, or compelling love for certain TV shows, there is nobody I would rather spend my time with, than you.
I love you.

Thankyou Alfie & I hope you’re okay . I do feel bad often about how things ended with us and I hope I haven’t caused too much damage , I also hope the new chapter of your life works out really well and I’m excited for u :)

When we hugged it felt like nothing else mattered. Time wasn’t a thing when I was with you. I wish it could be like that again just for a moment.

7 months. that sets my record congrats. i still wonder if you ever felt the same or if you were just getting the most out of me. even when you message now i wonder if you’re making fun or not aha

I hope it soon sinks in that I was nothing but good to you and that I deserve to be treated sm better and what you’re doing is hurting me so much it’s killing me to see you with another girl like me and you used to be. I miss you.

Thank you: for listening to me when no one else would, for walking me home when I didn't feel safe, for comforting me when everything fell apart. I can finally admit that I love you. I hope you'll realise that. I wish it was love you felt for me, rather than sympathy. I love you Alfie.

hi alf, you were my first love and i want more than anything for you to be my last but i don’t know if you’re good for me anymore

were still in love, and I hope we will always be. you complete me in so many ways, you're like the other half of me. we have so much in common and were not afraid to be ourselves around each other. I am completely and utterly in love with you and your existence. thank you for showing me real love and how it feels to be worth it.

there was something there. "no proof, not much, but you saw enough". that night, there were many things I noticed you ininsuating. There were many mixed signals. I despised those mixed signals. But nowadays, without you, I constantly find myself missing them. missing you.

I wait for the same part of you everyday. You reach out because you need to. You reach out in the most inconsequential way. But I still look forward to seeing that notification from you. I don't feel this way for anyone else. This would be much more romantic if you felt the same way, wouldn't it?

I should've been the first to cut ties. Now I regret not doing so. This is the problem. I don't do anything bad towards you because I have so much empty hope. it isn't fucking good. you aren't fucking good for me and I've established that. why is it so hard to accept and move on? I believe that everything happens for a reason, but I've been waiting 4 going 5 years. We were always close but we were never enough. I was never enough?

before when i actually had you I didn’t know how much I would be hurting almost a year on. you might’ve been the first person I had ever loved and now that you want to be friends again I don’t know if I can handle it because I think I still love you and can’t get over those feelings

I’m so thankful you’re still in my life , I’m incredibly lucky. I’m so sorry we can’t be together again yet. I think about it everyday xx

only person i've felt this for, and you don't want me the way i want you. this isn't how first love is meant to be

You were my first love and I miss you, but the bad outweighed the good and I had to save myself this time, L xxx

I love you, and I can’t tell that to you because it’s too early and I want to ensure you know I mean it but I do, I really do love you.

just maybe one day you’ll wake up and realise i’ve been here all along but i’m happy you and m are together bc your are both the most important people in my life and i don’t want to loose you or my best friend so i’ll sit in silence for you both :)

never really got the chance or the courage to tell you i like you, all those years ago. hope you’re doing alright!

i have to see you everyday knowing i’ll never be enough for you, i’m sorry. i did what i had to. you just didn’t feel anything. i love you but fuck you.

I don’t think you realise that I actually like you. I wanna stargaze together and run away to a cottage in the woods

you have taught me why stupid items and places can mean so much. you mean so much to me. i love you and i will always be here for you

I’ve known you for a long time. I’m never sure if I can ever use the word ‘know’ with you because I never know how much I truly know you. Do you remember me from back then? After we split apart I watched you from afar but never spoke to you. Did you even notice? You were my first love and Still are. When you first spoke to me again I welled you with happiness as soon as I got home. I’m so glad we caught up and now I finally know things about you that I never thought I’d know about. I really hope you like me back. If soulmates exist , I believe you are the one. Please don’t drift away from me again.

why wasn’t i enough for things to work out

kinda miss u tbh even tho i know i shouldn’t and it’s pointless at this point

i know we’re with different people but i think we’ll end up together in the end.

please stop appearing in my dreams.

If you wake up one day and you need me again, let me know

one day we will be together again, i know it.

to be honest, i don’t understand

I wish u would’ve changed. I miss you but I gave u so many chances and u still didn’t care enough