Unsent Messages

what happened...where did it go wrong. hope your doing okay and I hope you finally believe inyourself. realize that your smart and are capable of anything. I know you want to succeed for you mom, but succeed for yourself to. as much as I hate you for what you did, I still love you. im here if you ever need anything or just need someone to talk to. I regret not being there for you when uu needed someone to talk to. I loved the way you prioritized me, but I couldn't do that for you. I was scared but I realized what I lost. I miss your laugh, smile, jokes, and hugs. I have so much to say to you but we can never converse. I miss you the way you looked at me and would tell everything will be okay. I feel as if your the only person ill ever love, and I hate it. you would always support me and thats what made us close. we experienced similar childhoods so we understand each other. thats whats rare between us , finding someone who attempts to understand us. I wanted you to open up to me so bad. all I wanted was you to confide in me. we had this fascination of being married and having a family. I hate marriage and somehow I wanted it with you. you made me smile on my worst days. I made you laugh when you wanted to end it all. one question though, did you cheat this whole time? if so why didn't you tell me. I hate it that I cheated to but I feel as if we both know we did. we had hope for us somehow and I want to know why. I thought I was changing you . you were changing me you made me trust someone which was you.i thought you were different but who knows.