Hi it’s heartbroken you, I know this is difficult but please don’t let this take away who you are, he may be the one for you but you both need time apart to grow as individuals and get yourself better before you try to reconnect.
You aren’t at fault my love you are just in turmoil with how much your feeling and it’s okay to express your feelings but please do it in a healthy way.
I believe you will be happy if you start to open your heart to the hope you have in it and start to learn to love yourself.
I hope you can look back at this pain and realise how far you have come and how much you are grateful for the pain because it only makes you stronger. Stay strong broken me I love you.