Unsent Messages

im not going to let you have this much power over me anymore because i know i’ve done everything i could and it will never be enough for you. it doesn’t matter how many different ways i try to apologize because you will always push me away. i was in a manic state and i did something wrong and i’ve begged and fucking begged again for you to even just try to understand that i know i’ve made a mistake but you completely refuse to have even the tiniest amount of human empathy for me. as much as i despise it my personality disorder will always be with me and i’m not going to let you or anyone else make me feel like the most evil person in this entire universe over something i’ve made myself accountable for and learned from. i really did love you and i will always keep you somewhere in my mind but you really can be so fucking awful. you know i still care immensely about you and you use it to make me remember over and over again that you feel nothing except hatred for me and im really starting to think that maybe it’s just amusing to you. you get to keep me waiting for as long as you want because you know i’ll always be there. you could’ve just told me goodbye just like i did but you wanted to give me false hope one more time. i will never regret loving you but from the bottom of my heart fuck you jaiden. i wouldve never guessed you could be this unfair.