Unsent Messages

mars, you were so near to my heart. i never meant to hurt you. you were always so much better than i was, you deserve the world and everything in it. im so sorry that i couldn't take care of you like we always talked about. arson makes you happy, and i will always be within arms reach for you to fall back onto, even if you never need me again. you deserve so much more than i could ever give you, from the way that your eyes light up when you're excited or how you can never seem to stop moving around, to how soft your hands were compared to mine. i could never forget those months that we were together. it would've been our one year anniversary last november. i never meant to hurt you when i went with lilly, and i paid the price for it. i'd pay it over and over again if it meant that you could see me in a new light again, to forgive all my wrongs and just look at me, like im worth saving. but that was another life and another time. i am so sorry. i could never apologize enough.

all my love,
tori.