Unsent Messages

sometimes i wonder if you had never loved me in the first place, then i wish that you just hadn’t. i was so happy when i was with you but at the end of our relationship you constantly made me feel like shit. it’s been months since you dumped me for the second time and i still cry every night. i still get flashbacks of the way you manipulated me. i still believe the things you gaslighted me into thinking. even now that i’m in a healthier relationship, my thoughts that tell me i’m annoying and unlovable constantly haunt me. i’m just glad that my new partner actually gives a shit about my feelings. our relationship was beautiful but it fell apart because of you. none of it was my fault and you won’t ever be able to convince me that it was. the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that you’re miserable now that you don’t have me in your life. i know you are and i know that you will be for a long time. you hurt me so bad but i’m not miserable anymore. and quite frankly, i wish you the worst.