Unsent Messages

I may act like I hate you, but I never can and never will. Im so sorry for what happened. I wish I could tell you how bad I am hurting right now. How I feel like my life is crumbling in front of me, my thoughts slowly killing me.That Im back in my old habits I never thought I would be, but I wouldn't wanna disappoint you. I don't want you to worry about me. I cant get myself to admit it to anyone, even myself. There is no worse feeling than the ones I am feeling right now. I wish more than anything we were meant to be. I thought we would find our way back to each other as we traveled the world, but I have to get that fantasy out of my head. Im drowning while it feels like you're on top of the world. Im starting to realize our differences, realizing we were never meant to be. Maybe it was just young, careless love. Maybe I was in way over my head, convincing myself you were the one meant for me. Either way, you meant the world to me and I would not erase the memories If my life depended on it. I tell everyone Im over it, but I'm not sure I will ever be. Im sorry for all the silly fights I caused, I wish I could erase them all. I love you. We may not have been perfect, but it felt like it to me. Its time for me to start letting go now.