Unsent Messages

you will always have a special place in my heart. you were my first love and I regret nothing. I don't like telling the story from my point of view and saying I loved you because I know the reaction "no you didn't" or "you just liked him love is a strong word" I consider it as love because what I felt was my version of love and thank you for allowing me to feel all those different amazing and scary feelings for the first time. It was magical. So carefree and I'm sad our time had to end because you are one of the best things that's happened to me but I won't tell you that in person because I know you'll feel weirded out about it and I don't want to get embarrassed or get teased from you. it's been years that we've known each other and it's truly crazy because it hasn't felt that long. you always bring up that I stopped talking to you and was being fake for a year since we were in the same class and I never talked to you when you tried to or sum but since I can't tell you ill say it on here. that year, someone texted me saying you liked me again which had be stunned and confused and so while I was thinking of my feelings that same person said it was a joke and you knew about it. I was upset, and I know that's stupid to get mad for but it just reminded me of the other times you did that and hurt me and it annoyed me even more when you knew that my feelings used to be strong and didn't bother telling me that the person was joking around about that and you just let me believe it. I honestly wasn't planning on talking to you anymore until we rekindled our friendship after years and I couldn't be happier. I really missed you and I think that's why when I think about us being friends again it makes me emotional. not in a romantic way though don't worry. us being friends again made me happier than you can imagine. I feel so comfortable around you and I feel safe. when we talk I feel like I'm talking to me but in a boy form and I enjoy every conversation we have and it always brings a smile to my face. This time I'm not going to be stupid and let you go again. not in that way. even if my feelings aren't the same I still do love you but in a friend way and I'll always have a stupid soft spot for you so just know that I appreciate you so much and that you'll always have someone by your side whenever you need to talk or anything. my younger version would probably be heart broken by us just being friends but present me is content with how things are right now. thank you so much for being in my life and making it so much better. (ill never tell you that either because I really don't wanna make your head bigger than it already is from your ego.)