Unsent Messages

i loved you a lot, and you told me things i have always wanted to hear. i now know you did not mean it, and you just settled for me because you could not get who you really wanted. i still think about you a lot, but not in the same way i used to. i just wish you could of gave me closure with the truth, and for once apologized to me. it was always me apologizing even for the shit that did not need apologies from me. they were needed from you. for the times you made me feel not enough for you, and how you pressured me into bad ideas because you took advantage on how much i loved you. i hope one day ill find peace with the issues you gave me just as you have had peace even after using me all those months. I'm still somehow waiting for you to reach out when i know you never will, and at the same time i really hope you do not because i wouldn't be able to believe any word you would say and i still would not get that feeling of closure i seek. that will have to come with lots of my personal work.