Unsent Messages

we've been friends for a long time. can you believe how much time has passed? i like to think that our relationship is picture perfect, but if there's anything i regret from our friendship, it was making all those stupid flirty jokes with you. fuck that, hah. i think i've fallen for you. every time we pull away from a grasp, i always yearn for more. whenever we talk, i wish i could squeeze in another sentence for you, all to hear your stupid laugh again. i want to look and adore you for ages, to listen to all the tiny stories you'd ramble on about forever. i always want more from you. but i know that i'm not ready. i know you're not ready. i don't want to push these feelings away like i did with everyone else, but it's for the best. i'm still hurting, i'm not in a good place at all. it's too soon, or perhaps it's too late. i need to grow. we need to learn.

you'll never hear these words come out of my mouth, but i love you. i love you so much, more than anything. you mean so much to me. i'm so sorry i can't be up and honest with you. i'm sorry that i don't have the guts to tell you how i actually think about you. until then, let's remain the way we are, feelings lingering deep inside me. let's carry on holding hands without a care for the world, without facing the truth. let's remain clueless, it's for the best.