From: ABC
To: sojung
Date: January 19, 2021, 4:05 am
i feel like you want to distance yourself from me or I'm just bothering you now and ik you say that's not the case but it sort of feels like your just trying to spare me the pain?? but I feel like I just make you uncomfterable or bother you and maybe its cause I still have feelings I suppose and ig that might be why but idk also to idk prevent making you feel weird anymore I was planning on just not mentioning anything flirty or shit like that anymore idk I'm just sort of confused with my own thoughts and don't know exactly what I'm thinking anymore and idk ig I'm just kinda frustrated realizing its never gonna happen that I've lost you and that I cant get it back with how I feel being irrelevant but I idk I just want to say I love you and if its this painful not being around you I don't want to imagine the pain if you leave me forever you genuinely changed sm about how I think and feel in such a great way and I'm sorry if what I say its repetitive or at this point are just words without much meaning but its just I want to help you through this as a friend first cause you just mean sm to me more than anyone and I'm sorry for being that psycho ex and ill dial it back and let you live your life but idk I feel like I should try to comfort you in case that somehow in some future is the difference between you staying and leaving idk why you feel that way or what you've been through but I love you so so much and I've been up at night just imagining what would I do if I wake up one day and your gone what more should I have done and if I really let my meaningless and small insecurities from reaching out to you when I should have and I just feel like i did it again this whole time i forced something you didn't want or have the feelings for and I'm sorry for being so selfish but just don't go I'm begging you don't go.