Unsent Messages

i don't think you could ever understand how much i love you. you make me feel so warm. it hurts to see you with her but i can't do anything about it. i still do my best to help in any way i can whenever there's something between you two. i've never been this attached to anyone and it's so scary, i'm terrified you're gonna leave me again and i just can't cope with it. you're my entire will to live. i hope one day you can start being kinder to yourself, start healing and fully understand yourself. i hope you find someone who loves you unconditionally, who is supportive and not so possessive and overall healthy. someone who gets you, who always listens to you and fulfils your needs and does all the things i told you i'd love to do someday. i know i'll never be good enough for you to even consider liking me in that way but i'm still gonna be here for you for as long as you let me, i'm always going to love you the same and i just want you to be happy. i kept quiet about all of those things because i don't want to make you uncomfy, and the circumstances don't really help either.
whoever gets to spend time with you is so lucky. i wish we could do that, but knowing me i'll probably ruin it with my problems. i try so hard to not show that side of me but it's hard. please forgive me for everything i put you through just by being my friend. i love you.