Unsent Messages

first of all i just want to say sorry, i’m sorry for the way things ended with us and i’m sorry for driving u away from me. losing u was the hardest thing i’ve ever gone through, it felt like a part of me was missing and i was completely lost. it took me a while to realise i had to stop begging for u to come back to me and i realised if u loved me enough u would’ve come back on ur own. when we were together it was the best feeling, u was the most amazing, sweet, caring, supportive boyfriend i could’ve ever imagined getting. before u came i didn’t really feel like i was important or worth anything to anyone but you made me feel special and loved every single day for the 1 year 10 months n 28 days that u was mine and no matter what i never ever stopped loving u even when things were really bad you was my boy n i would never give up on u. i promised u. u also promised me a lot of things, u told me we would get married, u told me u would never give up on us, u told me there was no one as special as me and that you’d never stop loving me. u lied about that, i know that now, but i forgive u and i cant be mad at u even tho u broke my heart into a million pieces. even a month and a half after u left me i still love you with every piece of my heart. i have tried so so hard to move on and forget about u but i just cant because they arent u. it’s as simple as that. whenever i think about u and her i get a sick feeling in my stomach, it hurts me to think of u being the way u was with me with any other girl, especially because i know how much it meant to u that u could be urself about me. although we aren’t together anymore and you’ve moved on i want u to know how much being yours meant to me, i have genuinely never ever felt as safe as i did when i was in ur arms, u felt like home to me and u were really my best friend. we did everything together and i valued ur opinion on every decision i had to make and i know u felt the same way. we made so many memories together and u was a part of my daily routine, i needed u, u might not have realised but u saved my life. thank u for everything you’ve done for me. and i’m writing this right now with the most painful lump in my throat because thinking of happy memories with u hurt so much knowing i will never get to make them again. my world has been taken away from me, all of the plans we made for our future are gone and i am now afraid of the world again without u by my side. as i said esrlier we both made promises to each other, i promised u i would always love u and that i would never give up on u, this still stands true even after every horrible thing u said to me i still have the biggest amount of love for u and i adore u more n more everyday, i wish i didn’t but i do. u got me attached and then left, i forgive u tho. and if one day i decide u need me too i will be here, always, i will never stop loving u even if i have “moved on” ur always going to be mine hasan