Unsent Messages

in my life I’ve learned the one way to get someone to leave you alone is to be cruel. Because if you are cruel no one wants to be around you. and the fact that you honestly believe I only ever loved you as a friend shows just how cruel I can be. i didn’t make that book out of love for a “friend”. I didn’t spend hours making gifts that I never gave you for a friend. I didn’t write stories about a future for us as a friend. but I did know I was hurting you and I knew that you wouldn’t let me go if you knew the truth. The truth that I loved you in more ways then just a friend but i was so very broken and i couldn’t put you through the endless nightmares and issues. i’ll admit the way I went about it was not healthy nor kind but you should know neither of those things apply to me. i knew you wouldn’t let me leave unless i hurt you. I had to do what I thought was necessary to truly get you to let me go because you deserve so much more. if you think I didn’t want to be at your side once more way back then you are wrong. But I knew if I took my place at your side I would cost you nothing but pain. you were never just a “friend” to me. maybe one day you’ll understand the need that I had to be cruel. TR