There's so much I want to tell you but I hope we never speak again because I would do it all over. I cared about you so much, I wanted us to work. I tried so hard. I was tired though, tired of trying to get you to see how much I cared.Tired of waiting, tired of being your second choice. I was just so tired. And then at one point you acted like you cared, like you really cared. Finally everything I'd done was worth it and I wasn't tired anymore, I was happy. The first time you came over I was so nervous but I was willing to risk everything. Whenever I think back to that first day, I cry. The way you held me while you slept, I'd never felt something like that. It was like our bodies fit perfectly together. I felt safe and comfortable in your arms. We didn't do much but sleep but it was the best time I've ever spent with someone. That last night before everything went bad, I remember it all the time. It scares me Brandon, it scares me how little I cared about myself and how much I cared about you. At that point I knew why you had acted like you cared. I knew you got what you wanted and nothing was ever going to be the same. I had to let you go because I was slowly killing myself. After you left, the bed felt extra cold. I miss you but I know everything happened because it had to. And I know that you don't miss me. But If you ever do come back I hope you're the person you convinced me you were. ?