Unsent Messages

i dont think i really have the right to miss you as much as i do since i was the one to end things but i do miss you, a lot more than i ever thought i would. i thought you pulled away because you lost interest or for whatever reason you didnt want to be with me but now i'm not so sure. the conversation we had a few days ago kinda changed my perspective on it & honestly i miss you more than ever. i was so stressed and sad and anxious when we were talking about ending things & at the end i thought maybe this is for the best. you didn't even try to fight for me or for us & that's when i thought to myself that you stopped caring. but maybe you didnt. i don't know what to think anymore i just know that i miss you but that this probably isnt right for either of us. maybe we just need some time apart & we can try again in the future. there have been so many times when i wanted to text you to see how you're doing or call to hear your voice but i know that i'm probably the last person that you want to hear from so i just keep it to myself & try to deal with it on my own. maybe i'll get drunk and use that an excuse to call you & hear your voice one last time - would you even pick up a call from me? i hope you're doing well & i'm really sorry about the way we left things - i wish things ended differently