Unsent Messages

i’ve been hurting for a long time now and you made me feel ok again. you showed me what it’s like to be really loved and even though you won’t say it, i know you feel it and you’re scared to feel that again so soon. i will leave you alone for a while because “if you love someone let them go, and if they don’t come back they were never yours to begin with”. so, i’ll take some time to focus on myself for a bit because apparently i’ve got some work to do too. i really do love you and i really do want to be with you and maybe one day we will, who knows? all i know is that you made me feel so cared about for the first time in a long time. i really could see us together for the long run. but i also know that you hurt me in more ways than i could’ve ever imagined. you were my first everything. the first person i really fell for. the first person to make me feel so loved. i will look back on this time fondly but i will not be coming back to you even if i really want to. i chased you for way too long and should have ended everything the first time you broke me. i didn’t because i knew we had something special. i guess only time will tell if you were in my life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. but i’m going to really miss being able to just talk to you. i’ll miss just calling you to rant or talk about our days or cuddling when i’m stressed out. i know you say that i still can but it isn’t going to be the same for a while, hell it never will be the SAME. we aren’t together and we may never be. please just don’t be a douche who says he needs to work on himself and isn't ready but gets with someone a month later, you know how bad that would crush me. i hope you figure your shit out and i hope i figure mine out. you’ve broken me and it’s going to take time to heal but i will come out stronger in the end. i hope you find whatever you’re looking for in life, i know i will find mine. it’s up to you if you would like to put in the effort to be there when i do. i know that i want to be there when you do but i will not chase you any longer. idrk where we went wrong but thank you for teaching me how i deserve to be treated. it was fun pretending. maybe one day.