Unsent Messages

wow ive never written you one before but hi. someone else on here said you're not a good friend, but at the same time the best. im not sure if that was for you specifically, but they said it perfectly. you're probably the most toxic person ever, yet people, including me, cant stop being friends with you. i would never say any of this to your face, because i'll admit sometimes i am jealous of your popularity, and also because you were so mean to me back then and constantly put me down. i dont want to hold it against you because i know youre trying to change, but i dont think ill ever be able to get over how much you hurt me and how terrible you made me feel about myself. yet, youre still the type of girl people will never stop thinking and talking about. you just pull people in with your charisma, but then drag them down. ofc i love you and miss you, which ill never tell you (im sorry), but i dont think we can ever be close again. i want to so badly, more than you know, and i also think about our memories, but there isn't only cherished memories...i still remember the bad ones. this is so long omg but its all pent up stuff that i could never say to u OR anyone for that matter. but i was so jealous of you and him, actually more than one him. it really did bother me and i wish i were you in that situation. ik ur not over him, and well i think i almost am, but a while back, i hated that you too thought you guys were meant to be because thats what i thought. u think that about so many guys, why cant i have just this one? sorry this was so rude, i hope you dont read this or figure out who its from because i dont want to hurt you. i never want to hurt you, but i just need to keep my distance for a while.