Unsent Messages

This is as simple as I can put it. I’m lost in thoughts but I have figured most of it out. You were my person. I don’t think I told you that because I knew I wasn’t yours. I was in love with you. I still love you but I’m not in love. You have lost me. I keep looking through these stupid fucking messages because I want to hear from. I keep looking for stupid bullshit signs that you are the one for me. I know that ship has sailed but I just hate that I can’t tell you anything anymore. I will always have so much love for you but I don’t want anything from you anymore. I don’t want the time you gave me because you thought it made me happy. I don’t want the conversations because one of us always gets upset. I don’t want to be in contact because I’m so scared that I still have no idea how to live without you. I don’t want to face you because I know I wouldn’t look away from you. The challenging thing is actually looking into your eyes and saying “hey! I’m totally over this guy.” Because I know I am not capable of that right now.