Unsent Messages

i used to come on here and tell you how much i loved you. how much i missed you. how sorry i was for everything. how i would wait for you forever. but honestly im so done with that. im done waiting on you and im done being sorry. because i was a child going through grown up shit and you KNEW that, it was YOUR decision to get involved with me. im not sorry for any of that. im sorry for the way my mental health used to effect you, yeah, and im sorry i would take things out on you. im not sorry about my life. you should be sorry for walking into it, putting me into your family when you knew i didn't have one, and then ripping that out from under me. and im done waiting on you. im done being paitent im done trying to wait on your relationship with her to be over i am DONE. i am finally letting you go. because it's been 2 years. its beem just as long since you would talk to me and have a normal conversation with me because everytime you've talked to me since the break up you've treated me like a fucking child and im so done with that to because all i wasever doing was checking up on you and making sure you were okay. i fucked up, i wont lie- but you fucked up worse. you lost the downest bitch ever, somebody who held it down for you even when their own life was falling into fucking pieces. and i used to want you to see that so bad i wanted to show out for you so bad to let you know what you lost and how much better i am now. but im glad you dont realize. because you are not the type of person i want to be with. not anymore. i get people grown and change, but your whole morals and values have changed, and i just cant fuck with it. and i know that if you were to hit me up my heart just might not let me ignore you. im grateful for us meeting. you showed me what love was and what not to do in a relationship. but now, everything that im holding onto for you, its blocking my blessings. real blessings of people who ACTUALLY love me and care about me and would willingly go to hell and back with me- people who deal with my mental health and life struggles every day. the ups and downs. something you just couldnt do. i hope youre happy now though. i really do. thats all i have ever wanted for you. and i cant wait to see you in the mlb in a couple years playing for the sox. while its a damn shame it wont be us together, thats what you chose, and i cant keep dwelling on that. i hope youre doing great because im doing beautiful. you were my first love so youll be in my heart forever, but i gotta let you go now jorgie. i have to.