Unsent Messages

When you left us, I thought it was something that I did, someone in our friend group did. Turns out, I still don’t know the answer. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it, but you’re always changing the topic, through text and in person. I’d rather have a hurtful answer than left wondering. I feel like we’re not close anymore, you abandoned us without any explanation. I had to find out not through you, but through one of your new friends. I remember on the few days when I didn’t show up to the lunch table you called me a b*tch. Well, guess who never shows up at all anymore? And on your actual birthday. Your friend asked if another person and I were invited. You were whispering something to your friend. Seemed pretty sketchy, but I paid no mind to it at first. I can recall many other things, but all I know is that you don’t have time for us anymore. As our interactions shortened, the more I’ve thought about our friendship of 5 years, 6 if you count last year. We’re slowly going back to strangers again. It feels weird knowing that your once best friend becomes a stranger to you, knowing little secrets and everything about you. I’m still really hurt. And it isn’t just me who’s hurt. Since we’re about to graduate and go our separate ways, this year will be our last Christmas. Not together, obviously, but gift wise. Have fun with your new friends that you’ve been going out a lot with during quarantine. Don’t talk to me anymore, because I’m done wondering.