I’ve been putting off writing this for a while, i think for many different reasons to be honest. I think one of those reasons being that i’m being that i’m scared that i have been big headed and gotten the wrong idea of who this is being written by, but by now i think there are too many events and context clues for it to be a coincidence by now. I should preface that i’m not as oblivious as many people seem to think i am, but sometimes it helps to have people think that.
I think i’ve had an idea of who you could be for a while, but i’ve always had the fear that i could be wrong. But i don’t think i am, you write too much like yourself in these to it really be anyone else in my head.
I let you write them, let us hope that you would have a happy ending, and god do i still hope that for you, but that happy ending can’t be with me.
I think that’s another reason i’ve put off writing this is that, that i don’t have the same feeling for you that you have for me, and i’ve always been scared of change. And it would change a bit i think telling you that i know you write these, i always hoped it wouldn’t really but in the back of my head i knew it would for a bit at least. But i do love you, you know this, but it’s simply not in the way you want me to, and i feel like it’s rude of you to leave you in the dark for this for longer than this.
I’m using all these exuses of why i never wrote back but really it’s because i’m a coward who can never go into a situation head on most of the time without figuring out a way of me not getting hurt in the process. by doing this i still feel like a coward, leaving the decision to you on whether to message me or not but i don’t think that i can put this off any longer, or it wouldn’t be fair on you really.
By the way, if these aren’t being written by who i think they are, ignore these rambling of a fool with an ego apparently, and just continue, knowing that an August somewhere is thinking about this and hoping.
Although if it is who i think it is, then you’ll know who this is by, you do seem to know my writing better than my own somehow.