Unsent Messages

fuck you for flirting with me even though we broke up, for texting me at two in the morning to get clarity, for fucking with my head so bad that i actually believed i still wanted you after all this time and all these thing you have done. fuck you for ruining girl in red, for your mom being so nice to me, for being the first person i told about my hyperfiaxtions and being the first person that understood not understanding. Fuck you for all the times i've thought we might work out, for every time you let me play with your rings while we held hands and fuck you for choosing those swings as 'our spot'. I loved them, now i can't even bear to walk past them. Fuck you for getting angry at silly stuff. Fuck you for holding me in your arms and telling me it'd be okay after I just broke up with you. Fuck you for being the first person i told about what was happening to me. Fuck you for not kissing me on thirty october. Fuck you for being so supportive sometimes, and fuck you for handeling my self destructiveness.
Fuck you for keeping up with me for six months. Fuck you for being you. Fuck you for not making this work. Fuck you for being my teen romance. Fuck you telling me i look like a chimpunk. Fuck you for telling me i was gorgeous, even though you were still dating him and I was very much not gorgeous. I think I might've been in love with you, but you never really showed me the real you. So yeah, fuck you for all that.