Unsent Messages

i hate how i love you so fucking much and then i hate you. do you want me or not? choose please bc it’s breaking my heart.
i hate you. i hate the way you made me felt. i hate the way i fell in love with you instantly within a week. i hate you. i know you loved me too, i felt the connection between us. you ruined me. when you left me you took a piece of me that deeply loved you. i never knew i could feel this way about someone until i met you. i wish sometimes that’d id never even had met you. i don’t understand what you do and why. it haunts me that i used to think about you every day and you didnt give a shit. i fell for you. hard. i cried nightly because i couldnt see you. my heart crumbled more and more when i left you. i left your touch. i didnt feel your hug anymore. i didnt feel safe anymore. i barely knew you but it felt like we’d known each other forever. when i see you again i don’t quite know what ill do. if the feelings will come back. im angry. i hate you. i hate how i still love you. a year later and im still in love with you. i dont know if its the way you do things or say things but its charming. i feel different when im around you. i hate how you left me when i was in my worst possible state. i was in love with you. and you blocked me. like i meant nothing. im confused on why you did that. i just loved you with all of my heart. you knew that. your charm haunts me. still. i wish i could forget you. i wish we never met. i wish you didnt rip a chunk out of me. i hate you. i love you.