Unsent Messages

to be honest i have no idea why i’m writing this, i know you probably would think this is weird or whatever if you ever saw it. i don’t know what colour to put because when i asked for your favourite you said about five, i’ll give you orange though, if see this then you’ll know it’s for you - hopefully lol or not that might be embarrassing. anyways, i thought i’d be over you, completely over you but even after six months of not communicating when i saw you again all the feelings i left you with came back. i miss when you smiled at me, i miss how you would always hype me up when i dissed myself, i miss walking with you and noticing our height difference - because you’d make me feel safe, i miss how you used to tell me about your dreams and when you used to ask me questions, i miss you. so much. i wish we could speak again but i know the cycle would just repeat itself. i’m so sorry for messing it up so many times. i’m so sorry for making you feel like shit. i am so sorry for ignoring you even when you were all i could think about. writing this hasn’t made me feel any better but maybe you’ll find it one day, or not and it’ll just be out there on the internet for eternity. either way my feelings for you won’t change in this moment. maybe when we’re older we’ll see each other and laugh about our little crush as a teenager, maybe i’ll never see you again. i hope i do. thank you for believing in me.