I'm toxic and I'm sorry that I did what I did to you. I shut down and stopped allowing myself to care about you because I was terrified of how much I could have cared for you. I fell madly in love with someone before you and I destroyed everything because I'm sick. I've been telling myself for such a long time that I could never love again but I don't think that's what I should have done. I shouldn't have built my walls so high because I know that I deserve to be loved, and so do you. we've agreed to be fuck buddies again but hopefully, ill heal myself so I could be a better person and be okay with being with someone again. our relationship will always be tricky because of your dad but I hope one day it gets better and that maybe ill be able to get a second chance. every time I see you I feel more and more drawn to you and id hate to see you with someone else. I really hope I didn't wreak something that could have been good for me again.