Unsent Messages

I cant stop thinking about you, for some reason now more than ever. i know youve moved on and you deserve to be happy thats why im writing my heart out here and not in our messages. i just wanted to say im sorry and i know this doesnt mean anything to u, u probably dont even remember anything between us. i pushed you away and i know that now, i thought it was for the best to not let u in and i tried to help u forget about me by being a bitch, and it worked you never spoke to me after that and now you're all i think about. it hurts me to know that our friendship ended because i didnt trust myself to be good for u so i shut myself off to try and protect you, but by doing so i hurt you and myself even more. u probably just thought i didnt like you, but i did and i still do. sometimes i hear music and think that youd like it, or i think of things that just remind me of you. there was this one time we were on a bus together and it was pouring and all i could think of was getting off at ur stop and just walking through the park, but i didnt, sometimes i wonder where we would be if i allowed myself to be happy with you, cause i know i would be, i regret everything that happened. i wish it all happen when i thought like this, i think i was just to immature, ive never liked anyone the way i liked you, it's just something about you, you see life in a different way. i look for you in every person i meet and i know its bad but its like i am waiting for someone that will never be mine. this is all so fucked up because i shouldve said this when u liked me and because it couldve happen, me and you, but it didnt and it wont and its all my fault. i know u wont see this but i kind of hope you do, i just want you to know i do like you and there was something between us. i really hope u find happiness and a type i could never give you cause u deserve it and im sorry if i made you feel like u werent good enough i did really love you. if you ever do see this i dont think youd read this far i know its weird and a bit excessive but i just needed to get this off my mind goodbye Arvin