& here i am. 3:44am woke up to go pee and thought about how i used to watch you pee in front of my garage. a glimpse of you giggling ran through my head. i thought about how i’ve changed my skin & you’ll never be around to heal it. or me. i woke up in the middle of the night exhausted, but still have the energy to cry over you, even 9 months later. my chest hurts. I hope you don’t have the pain i do in my heart in yours.