Unsent Messages

ok so i wanted to write it all so here we go.


when we stopped talking i shut everyone and everything out, i didn’t cry for months and i didn’t feel complete.

cheesy right?

but i honestly think i was so fucking heartbroken that i didn’t even comprehend that the most important person in my life left and didn’t want to talk to me because i told you not to.

i’m sorry, i always will be.

when i got with L i thought i would finally move on but she doesn’t compare to you, she called me boring, she doesn’t have as many similar interests, she doesn’t act the same way, she doesn’t fool around and make jokes with me, she doesn’t know dangerous fellows or nf or anything else i didn’t shut up about, conversations always felt forced with her, it felt like a chore.

she isn’t you.

and so ig i’m glad it ended with her bc it would’ve just dragged out for no reason.

when we wernt talking, i missed your cute sneeze, i missed your laughter, i missed you talking about bts members and their thighs and hands, i missed listening to music together, i missed goofing off in art class, i missed bothering sr.f, i missed being near you.

i missed you sm

but i never acknowledged it i just pushed it away and pretend i hated you bc that’s the best way to get rid of it all right?

and i had to push it away cause it’s not like i could talk about it, i would probably be called dramatic or be told i was obsessing over it, courtesy of my mother.

but in the end of it all i’m still sometimes upset we didn’t get where we wanted.

but idk if that’s even an option anymore, idk even know if it should be or if i should be even thinking about it but i am.

i just wish you knew how connected to you i feel.

like i get overly excited when you text.

maybe that’s not a good thing but ik it feels good to be happy so there’s that.

my feelings 4 u r vvvv complicated no doubt but it’s whatever

i think you’re amazing

i think you’re smart

i think you’re pretty

i think you’re kind

and i think you’re misunderstood but that’s ok cause i think we all are

but i don’t want to read it all wrong

i wanna know exactly how you feel ab me

whatever it may be

i wish we could have a heartfelt conversation about all this stupid lovey dovey shit, which we could but i’m a pussy so probs not.

so yeah, if u see this maybe text me, or don’t idk.

dong make fun of me pls


i love u

take that however you chose ig

goodnight