Unsent Messages

the days go by and the reality gets clearer and clearer, the reality that i really lost you. and since i lost you, somehow i lost myself too, as if you were still an essential part for my well being and that, without you, i would just go on aimlessly. you may even think that im just another melodramatic teenager, or that im still too young to feel this amount of emotions, but don't you dare, not even for a second, blame only me for still loving you so much. it was you who was increasingly feeding this love that i feel for you, making it impulsive, needy, wanting more and more of you. maybe it scared you, or maybe you weren't prepared to return as much love as the one you received. maybe this, maybe that, so many "maybes" that just demonstrate the amount of uncertainty that still goes through my veins, the number of questions that never found a precise answer, because you never got to clarify anything to me. you just... left. without explanations or goodbyes, because not even that you were able to give me. one last goodbye, one last "i love you", or even just one last of those kisses on the forehead that i loved so much, for the simple fact of transmitting me comfort and security. but here i am, blaming only you too, trying to make excuses that make me believe that i gave my best to make the "us" work. i ended up coming to the conclusion that i didn't, that i could have done so much more... just like you. it seems that, in the end, we were both condemned for the guilt of having planted a love that we thought it was forever, but we weren't patient enough to let it blossom. and so, in the depths of the past, there's a pale, withered love.