Unsent Messages

I hope you know I'm not mad, in fact I wish I could be mad. I wish I could sit here and say how much I hate you but I can't and I don't. I just wish you told me why. Why I wasn't good enough. Why I didn't mean that much to you. Why it was so easy for you to just walk away. I want to know why. After all that I told you about how everyone leaves me, how it damages me every damn time you still did it and I want to be angry but I can't be. I can't be and that's the worst part. That even after all of the shit you put me through I would still let you back into my heart. What happened to Christ centered? What happened to always? To I'm never leaving? To go to the school closer to me so I can visit? What happened to all of that? From what I can see your life looks perfect now, especially that I'm not in it. I guess keeping me along for homework answers and guidance only lasted until it became too hard for you. I loved you because you saw me in all spots and I really thought you wanted the best for me, funny how even the wisest of us can be so foolish. I hope you like your sweater. I hope you see it in your closet and think of me, but then again you probably threw it away just like you threw me out.