Unsent Messages

I’m never going to get over you and I have to accept that. I will always think about you almost everyday and it’s not healthy but I can’t help it. You made me smile in the day and cry at night. You made me feel like I wasn’t good enough but that was not your fault but mine. No matter how much hurt you caused me it’s not all your fault, I can’t blame you for everything. I can’t blame you for me being insecure about myself or for me wanting you but at the same time hating you and for how I look at certain situations. You taught me that I can’t get mad at small things and that I can’t make the small things I dislike about people cloud my head about them. You also taught me that I deserve better and I learnt that my body isn’t validation. When I think about it we would never be together and that everything I thought about you was fake and made up and you aren’t a nice person unless you can get something out of it. I should have seen how much of a terrible person you were from the start but I really wanted it work although I went into this not even wanting anything and being adamant I wasn’t going to date you. I can’t believe I found it hard to live without you for a month, crying everyday and night even though I broke it off trying to stop myself from liking you. I still love you and won’t stop for now but I know what actually connecting with someone is like now and I’m happier and I will never give you a chance to take that away from me.