Unsent Messages

i hate the fact that i ever met you. i hate that i gave you all my firsts, my first 3am call my first favorite movie and everything else. but at the same time i wouldn’t have want to have them with anyone else. i loved the time we spent together and held it too close to my heart. i hate myself for taking it too far and falling for someone i know could never feel the same way. i hate myself for not cutting it off when i know i should have. i hate myself for being a toxic piece of shit who can’t let go. but i wouldn’t want anyone else in my life. i hate myself for caring so much but i can’t help it. i spent a lot of time with you, maybe too much. i don’t regret a single second. there’s no one else i can imagine that would be in my life the way you are. but i can’t tell if meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me or the thing i regret most. i don’t think i’ll every fully get over it. i think you’re still the person who means the most to me. I think i loved you, i think i still love you, and i don’t think i’ll ever be able to stop loving you. and i hope that you can be happy with or without me.