Unsent Messages

seb.
you weren't my first love, you won't be my last, but you're somewhere in the middle. i think i loved you, but a girl like me falls hard and fast, and i never really know if it is love or if you just make me happy when i need someone to do that. i think i miss it, the facetimes, the texts, all of it. but then i think of some of the things you said that made me feel a way that i don't deserve to feel. im not perfect, ive made mistakes, im making mistakes and im probably going to continue making mistakes. but that doesn't mean you get to treat me however the hell you want. i deserve better than that. it took me a while to realise that though. you really fucked me up to be honest. you had me thinking that it was me, i was the problem, i was the one doing everything wrong. i wasn't, maybe at some points, yeah i messed up. but that doesn't mean that i had to feel the way i felt. i think i kind of want to thank you though. you made me happier than anyone has in a while. granted, you also made me feel worse than anyone has in a while. but most of all, you made me remember who i am. i think you broke my heart if im being honest. and that's why i want to thank you. cos it made me remember who i am and what i deserve. which is a lot better than you. i don't hate you, i just don't want you in my life anymore.