Unsent Messages

I can’t say for a second that I ever thought I’d be in this position with you. I have to keep reminding myself that you don’t care for me the way I care for you and I can’t afford to let myself to continue to do so. The truth is I loved you with every fibre of my being and I did everything in my power to hold onto you, to hold onto us. And if I’m being honest with myself, I still haven’t managed to completely let go of that because the way you treat me sometimes makes me hope you’re still coming back to me. But I can’t keep thinking this way because I’m just letting you ruin me over and over again. You get my hopes up and then I realise you don’t care the way I thought you did. Please stop stringing me along. I’ve completely lost myself trying to make you love me and I don’t know how to get myself back. I can’t remember who I was before I loved you. And I shouldn’t feel this way anymore. I shouldn’t even care. You’ve treated me like dirt. You’ve humiliated me in front of all our friends. No one has ever hurt me the way you have hurt me, and I still would do literally anything for you because you keep roping me back it and making me care about you. How is that fair?