Unsent Messages

honestly i've realized that i handled things in the wrong way and i could have been more mature about it but it was my first time breaking up with someone and i didn't realize how much it hurt for you. at the same time i dont regret it because you're an awful person, at least to me. i've thought about apologizing recently and decided that it was too far gone and it would have only made it worse for the both of us. plus it was confirmed of how much hate we actually have for each other. if i didn't hate you before i certainly do now. no reason for me to write this other than the fact that i can use it as a way to get it out of my mind. while i'm here might as well get it all out, so i never have to think about it again. i only ever thought i loved you, but i dont think i ever truly did. i didn't know what love was until i realized i loved someone else. you treated me well and we had a good relationship but there was just something between us that never felt right. i think we were too different to the point where it was just never going to work out. i never lied to you, even though i know you think i did. it may not have seemed it, but it was hard for me too. I am completely over you which is why its weird that all this has been in my head for a few days. I feel like i just left so much unsaid at the break up cause i didn't know how to say it and i just wanted it to be over with as quick as possible. obviously i know you dont have any care in the world for it at this point, and i dont necessarily care for you to know, which is why i'm writing it here and not telling it to you. i'm glad we not together anymore, but i wish i had ended things sooner, before it got to the point where it was even more painful for you. i thought i was doing the right thing by waiting it out, because i didn't want to hurt you, but now i know the way i did it was awful. i never meant to hurt you in the ways that i did. now that i have written this, hopefully i never think of you again, not that i really do anyways.