From: ABC
To: sydney
Date: December 1, 2020, 6:39 pm
im sorry. i put us in a hard spot and i know i said our friendship would hold no matter how akward things got and i still stand by that. but i really miss you. things are,,different. i dunno how or how to describe it. i want more but i know its not possible. it would be unfair to you but is it too much to ask to just. hold you for a bit? no strings attatched? treat you like your the only person in the world? hold your hand just for a minute? i want to have more moments like at that chipotle a few months ago. figuring things out and talking through things, revealing more about ourselves because the truth is i miss you. which doesnt even make any sense because youre right here. we havent stopped talking, we havent stopped being friends but the only way i can really describe it is that i miss you. ik this isnt very fancy and you'll never see this so i guess that's why im being so open. i think about you alot, you know? i bet you think that my mind is always preoccupied with,, heh other things but truth is its a conscious effort to think about him where with you youre always just there. you float in and out of my brain all the time. im always wondering about you, what your doing, how your doing. i try to check up on your but ah im uh emotionally stunted to say the least. im not good with words. clearly. but anyways point is. youre in my brain. constantly. which reminds me ik i have all my other playlists on public and your probly think i dont have any about you but just so you know your playlists are on private. i add onto them alot. the vibes clash around too. there are songs that wanna get me screaming and dancing and there are songs that make me miss you so much it hurts. anyways. thanks for being you i really am the person i am today because of you and it scares me to think about who i would be without. gosh i probly wouldnt have a good sense of humor,, but youre caring, youre stubborn, pretty, funny as hell. ah class is starting soon but at the end of the day i really am thankful that youre my best friend. even if its just that.