I miss you... I think about you all the time but I know you never really loved even if it felt like it. You went back to your ex and I can't blame you, she is so funny and pretty. I wish I was enough for you to stay and wait for me. I only see you in one period in school and you never text me anymore. Did you notice my new hair color? I'm sorry I didn't reply fast when you asked how my day was, i just didn't want your girlfriend to see the text and be upset. I miss your hugs. They were the best. You were my first love and right now it feels like you might be my last love. I want to wait but I know if I wait and nothing happens I will just be in pain all over again. I miss talking to you like I had someone who was mine and only mine. Please don't forget about me... you promised. I miss your ocean blue eyes no matter how many times you told me they were green. I miss your fluffy light brown hair. The late night facetime calls that would make me giggle. Watching movies together. I wish you would call me or text me first. It would mean the world to me. I don't hate you for hurting me I just hate that I was so convinced that you wouldn't. Thank you for showing me what love is not. No matter how bad it sounds I will always... always go back to you if you asked me to. You seem so happy. Im glad I had the privilege to call you mine even if it was for a short while. Please visit me after you graduate. Tell me about your kids. If there is one thing I wont forget, it's my first kiss with you on New Years and my last one with you at the park in the rain at 2 AM. I wish I could hold you one more time. I wish I could have made you stayed long enough for me to go to homecoming with you and cheer you on at football games. Whenever I see you I try to ignore you but I always catch you looking at me so I look away hoping it will help me get over you but it has been 4 months. I wish you would call or text me please. I miss your voice. How do I love again? How do I trust someone again? I stay up all night thinking about you when I know I shouldn't. Maybe Im in love with the feeling and memories not you and your love. I hope your dog is doing well. My heart asks about you all the time and I have to remind it you aren't mine anymore even though we never dated because we are 3 years apart and our parents would get upset. Im starting to think the reason you stopped talking to me wasn't because of your parents... I think you just still loved your ex. I got told I looked like her. I will forever miss you no matter how far we get apart. I miss you and everything about you. I know you will never see this but maybe in a year or two I will show you. Im crying my eyes out I can't stand the pain please just come over and cuddle me to sleep. I miss the way you said my name. I was going to end it all but then you came into my life and made me stay and now I want to go again. The only reason I am staying is in hopes of finding real love or being able to call you mine again. Please call me I am begging you I just need you and only you. I am addicted to you. What am I supposed to do without you? All those paragraphs you sent were a lie but you told me you kept all our conversations in your notes. Even my "100 reasons why I love you". Your friends told me that when you were mine you drunk talked about how much you love and miss me. I want to wake up from this nightmare. I wish I would have kissed you more. Hugged you more. Got less mad at you. I miss you Brandon...
-M
P.S. I made the background purple because thats your two favorite colors mixed.