Unsent Messages

i don't want to drive you away by telling you how i feel, i told you i'm over it so we can at least be friends. you're all i want, you know this. i know you know, you're not stupid. i wish you'd tell me you want me back, even if you don't. i ache for you everyday and it never eases, not once for a second. i know you're over it and don't care for me anymore, i understand, i'm easy to forget. i don't blame you for what you did, i'll always love you with every inch of me and ill always be waiting for the dat you want me back. i know its been a year and you no longer think about me but i want you to know you're the first thing i think about in the morning and the last at night. its always been you james, you know this. it hurts that you don't even want to acknowledge me anymore, ill never fully understand why i wasn't enough for you or what parts of me weren't right, in all honesty i don't think i could handle knowing so i'm glad i don't. i just want you back, please change your mind. its all i want, ill wait forever if i have to. i know you're my soulmate, i know this. i promise. maybe i'm not yours, but god do i know you're mine. i understand that you only want to be friends and i'm so grateful you even want that but i can't help but get attached again, getting jealous of someone who isn't even mine. its always fucking you, i can't escape you. i don't want to, seeing you in my dreams is the only reminder you were real, what we had was real. i love you, more than you'll ever know. i promise ill wait for you, please, i'm begging, one day want me back. ill always be ready for you, change your mind, please.