Unsent Messages

i loved you once very much, and perhaps i still do. i used to want to hold your cheek against mine and your hand too. i would have died for you. twice if you'd said please. you helped me grow, too. watered me and cheered my little leaves on as i stretched towards you, the sun. and maybe i was in love. you aren't as magic anymore. it doesn't feel as magic when you message me, and i swear sometimes we walk in silence. that never used to happen. i can't seem to remember how you smell, or the feeling i got when i first realised how handsome you were. pointing out pastries in a cafe window. but some things can't last forever. and it aches to think that i used to write that i loved you eternally because it was true then and perhaps just as so now. what hurts is that i hoped i didn't and i really want to ask you to leave, although maybe i wish you wouldn't.