Unsent Messages

you will probably find this if I ever mention this to you, but I really liked you. you would be a real reason why my chest would get heavier. And yeah I ignored you, its because I wanted to hide the fact that I liked you. Here is the thing I knew you for a very short period of time but I still managed to create this feeling of joy and love for you. You were the guy, the dream guy. Once I knew you were never going to feel the same way, I had to block you out, it was a dead end. You thought you were the one getting hurt because I ignored you. Dude I hurt myself bad. everyday seeing you smile and being nice to people while I'm literally trying to turn my direction so I didn't have to see your face. But now after distancing myself twice and we are really close... I don't feel a thing. Not even wanting to kiss you ever. Honestly its gross to think of you like I did before. I grew out of it. I knew that you were never go for a girl like me so why bother. I want someone who wants me just as bad. I realized you didn't so I hurt myself to go on, and look at me now. Nothing new, just don't have a crush. but honestly I think that was healthy, even though I hurt both of us. It just had to be done. Lets be honest here you don't even know the difference between a female friend and a girlfriend. but you need to understand that it had to be done. And I know I keep repeating it but dude I'm not doing this for you I'm doing this for me. I have my own back, fuck you for not having mine.