From: ABC
To: august
Date: December 9, 2020, 1:45 am
i hate the idea that some of these could be about you, especially when they end w the letter of your last name or are the color of your eyes. it’s funny how my heart jerks with a gross jealousy when these cards speak of their augusts and how they love them despite how awful they- or you- treated them. as if apathy is my only indicator of u now. you were never my type until u fabricated ur personality - the persona u immersed urself in- and u became my first love. you never deserved me or my body or my validation. i loved you for too long, and it is hard to rip myself away from ur existence despite me knowing u don’t give a fuck about mine. never did. i loved you, august. not anymore. i hope u get better. or maybe stay worse - but at the beginning so it’s obvious and u don’t hurt anyone else with how great you are at pretending to be a normal person w real actual empathy. you are so good at faking it that my heart hurts and i am seeing in third person again. did u know i used to say that if anyone in the whole world deserved happiness, it was you? it is a waste of my time to wish i was wrong, but i can’t help but think it would’ve been so lovely to be right