Unsent Messages

i can’t even believe you’re still on my mind. i wish you weren’t. so much time has passed and i’ve met other guys but no one has ever compared to you so here i am alone. you really fucked me up. and looking back i find it hard to find any truth in any of the words you ever told me. some days i’ll write messages to you in my notes of all the things i would say to you if i got the chance. but i know that it’s unlikely that day will ever come. i’m trying to get rid of the perfect fixated image of you in my head because you’ve shown me over and over that it’s not the person you are at all. you’re slowly entering my life again and i have to remind myself that i’m in love with you from a year ago, but i’m not in love with you anymore. you would’ve been lucky to have me in your life. i settled for you over and over because of the person i thought you were. so thank you for teaching me not to settle and to know my worth. i love you, and i always will. you will be the person i tell my kids about when i tell them the story of my first love, of the first guy i ever envisioned having kids with. but you will also be the type of guy i’ll know i need to protect my daughters from. we weren’t good for each other. i was very happy because of you, but i was also happy before you and soon i will find happiness after you. here’s to finally letting your control of me go. goodbye cam.