I didn’t know I was gay until after we stopped being close. With you time stopped. I can’t remember a time I didn’t smile when I was with you. I mean we had those moments when touches lingered and shit like that. I was just scared. Some days I wish I could back just so I could see you and laugh with you. But most of the time I can’t. I think I pushed you away after what happened. I felt betrayed. And I’m still hurt. Because I wish I had known sooner I loved you. I just want to hold your hand one more time.